"So live like you mean it, love till you feel it, it's all that we need in our lives."

"Before It's Too Late"-Goo Goo Dolls


I work and meet with people almost everyday who are in some type of transition or painful place in their life.

The other day I met with a woman who was living her life based on what others expected of her. She was sacrificing her own life to please them. She sat in my office in such sadness, pain and hopelessness that my heart truly hurt for her. We cannot sacrifice our needs for the needs of another person no matter who the other person is. It should be our happiness that helps us be a person of value in other people's lives.

This woman knew what she wanted to be doing with her life. She knew what felt right and what would bring her happiness. But she wasn't even considering those options because they're not what other people thought she should be doing. Why would anyone live a life that way? Where is the happiness? Where is the joy? Where is the fun? Clearly she didn't have any, all because she's trying to make everyone else happy. I asked her who was sacrificing their life to make HER happy. Obviously her answer was, "no one."

We cannot sacrifice our needs for the needs of another and we certainly cannot sacrifice our lives in order to make other people happy. The truth is sacrificing who we are to please others really doesn't bring them happiness anyway. It is not our job to make other people's lives happy. It is our job to live the best life we can, to be the happiest we can be and the people who really love us will be happy because we are happy.

"Live like you mean it, love till you feel it, it's all that we need in our lives".

"So if you're tired of the same old story, turn some pages."

"Roll with the Changes"-REO Speedwagon


We are the writers of our life story. We have the option to change the story line at any time. Too often I hear people tell me that they made the wrong choice, that if they had something to do over again they would choose differently. I think we all wish we had a "do-over" or two in our lives, but we don't. The best we can do is honor our choices and keep moving forward. When we feel stuck or unsatisfied with the direction our life is taking we can change it. We don't need to stay stuck and unsatisfied. Unfortunately some of us choose to stay with what we know and stay where we are not happy. Other don't realize that change is even an option.

Others make the choice to make changes and move out of a bad situation, but then carry guilt or shame. If we are going to make the choice to change our life for the better but then live in guilt or shame we should have just stayed in the unsatisfying situation. When we choose to move on for happiness then we need to move on and leave the guilt and shame behind. No matter what mistakes we have made or missteps we have taken along the way, we all deserve a great life.

So if your tired of your same old story, turn some pages, write some new pages. Create the life of your dreams, then live it. We tell our story with the way we live our life, so live well and tell a great story.

"Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."
"Better Days"-Goo Goo Dolls

We have all heard someone say this; perhaps we have even been the one who has spoken these words: "I will be happy when, or "If only [this would happen] then I will be happy."
Why are we willing to hold off on our happiness until? What is the benefit in waiting?

I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to hear my brother, John make a very important speech about a year ago. In his speech he talked about being 100% present and in the moment. He said "Embrace the Sacrament of the Moment". His words caught me off guard but calmed me at the same time. Everything else is irrelevant to the experience of this moment, that each of our moments and each of our days hold something precious. Each day brings us lessons and gifts. We can find them if we are paying attention and if we are not feeling sorry for ourselves and/or being the victim.

Some days, with the exception of the people I love, there are times I need to dig deep into the dark, dusty cobweb filled corners of my brain to find something to be thankful for, anything. I know it's there and once I find it, I realize there are more things to be thankful for in this day than I initially thought. It didn't seem so at first because I was feeling sorry for myself. I let the weight of the things that frustrated me hold me back and cause me to not see the good in my day, as a result I labeled the entire day a "bad day".

There is good and bad in everything we do. Sometimes the good is obvious and welcoming, but other times the good is so small that we can miss it. It is in these moments that we need to find the good and hold onto it with both hands and let it carry us through.

It's not worth waiting for better days, make this day one worth living. Hold onto all the great things you have in your life. Surround yourself with good people who love you and support you. And know that no matter what, you will be fine.

Enjoy the Sacrament of each and every moment, and honor the people you choose to share your moments with.

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
"All At Once"-The Frey

My sister sent this in an email to all our siblings recently reminding us that life is about choices. Sometimes our choices are not so easy, even when we know we are making the right choice. My brother's reply to the email was "sometimes? I find this always to be true." We debated back and forth responding to each other's comments in an email chain that eventually brought us to the folowing conclusion: Although choices can be scary in the moments we are making them, the fact is, our choices are never wrong. Our choice, no matter where they lead us, always bring us something or somewhere special... even though it might not seem so at the time.

The other great gift we have in making choices is the navigation system we all have built right into us. When our heart, mind and gut are all lined up we know we are on the right path. Unfortunately, we have all gone against this system and lived to regret it. Fortunately, the forgiving nature of this system allows it to recalculate and help us also navigate our way out. It is because of this, because of the lessons and the gifts that we receive along the way, even in the scary, painful times, it is because of this our choices can never be wrong.

Have faith and believe in yourself, have confidence and don't worry about or over analyze your choices, we all make mistakes, we are meant to, it's how we learn.

Choices lead us to change and together they move our lives forward. I received a card recently that said it perfectly, it read:
"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."